The following post by Saul Klein is a very clever April 1st laugh regarding real estate…..

Hi everyone,

Once again, it is April First…Time sure flies. A quarter of the year has passed…and there is much real estate industry breaking news to report
to you…so let’s not waste any time:

Breaking News:

At 1:53 AM this morning, April 1, 2008, Congress passed the “US in Real Estate” bill.

As part of a bailout package for lenders, the US Treasury will purchase all foreclosed property in the country for 50cents on the dollar, and then re sell and finance them with the assistance of Bear Stearns, for 75cents on the dollar. The bill contained a record 465 earmarks totaling 75 billion dollars.

Brokers and agents wishing to submit offers for clients can make submissions to the Department of Justice, which will be charging a non-negotiable rate of 10 % commission on all sales. The 10% rate was determined at a private dinner meeting attended by officials of the DOJ, FTC and Fannie Mae. Maximum loan amounts will be based on the most current Zestimate.

In a shocking turn of the tables, DOJ Officials also agreed to boycott all members of NAR and only work with members of NAEBA (National Association of Exclusive Buyers Agents).

After the disposition of all properties (estimated to be no sooner than 2018), real estate brokerage by private industry will be outlawed. All real estate transactions will be handled through the combined efforts of the DOJ, which will represent sellers, and the FTC, which will represent buyers. This new Joint entity will be known as US REAL ESTATE, seen on the WWW at http://TheUnitedStatesOfAmerica.com. In keeping with their current practices in most other areas, neither the DOJ nor the FTC will have a fiduciary duty to the buyers and sellers of real estate, their loyalty being to the government. It is anticipated that there will be no disclosure to consumers. A DOJ spokes person tells us, “what they don’t know, won’t hurt them.”

In addition, the DOJ will only accept Exclusive Right To Sell listings; Exclusive Agency listings will be banned.

US REAL ESTATE, will open offices in every major metropolitan area of the country and commissions on the sale of real estate will range from 15% to 25% of the sales price and closing periods will be 1 to 2 years on all transactions. There will be no negotiation of commission as this move is seen by Congress as a great revenue generator for the government. An unnamed DOJ official stated “we at the Department of Justice feel that these fees are very reasonable. Attorneys typically charge 30% to 50% for cases which are contingency based. Real Estate sales are contingency based. If there is no closed sale, no commission is paid, so the fees the government plans to charge are very reasonable.”

In other news critically impacting the real estate industry :

Congress is expected this spring to approve the long-awaited amendments to the RESPA rules and regulations. Among the key changes are:

1) the dollar amount of acceptable gifts from banks and title companies to referring real estate agents has been increased to $10,000;

2) HUD-1 disclosure statements must be translated into the buyer’s language of choice; and

3) brokers may pay kickback fees to doctors and lawyers but not to teachers and insurance agents.

On the personal front:

Bob Goldberg, NAR Senior VP Marketing has decided to retire from the Association, and has changed his name to Bruce Springstein. Bob is quoted as saying: “Goldberg, Springstein, what’s the difference, no one will know and we should pack stadiums across the country before anyone catches on.”

Following his tenure at REALTOR.com and his Move from Move.com, Alan Dalton has set his sights on winning the PGA Championship in 2008. For more information on this story go to http://ProfessionalGolfersAssociation.com.

And that’s the way it is, April 1, 2008.

President/CEO, InternetCrusade

http://InternetCrusade.com

CEO, Point2 Technologies

http://Point2.com